oohh, aahh

A special Valentine's dinner just calls for a special dessert. Only those who are truly loved deserve something as labor intensive and tempermental as Chocolate Souffle. Oh, but when it's served piping hot, all smooth and fluffy with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream... it just melts your heart.

girls getaway

one man with about 16 girls? grandpa stander is a lucky guy!

dave's aunt jeanette was kind enough to invite all the girls in the family down to st. george for a weekend o' fun. we shopped, talked, got massages, relaxed, ate, and most importantly did lots of crafts!!
judy surprised megan and i with matching valentine's pajamas- oh, so comfy!
thomas, ashley, marianne, joan, judy

grandma stander collected thousands of buttons, so we decided to put them to use. you can't be upset in heaven, right?
just a glimpse of our many crafts- think bracelets, headbands, blankets, cake stands and more. you would think our last name was etsy.

can i get a woo-woo?

After going to Chicago to attend the American Burn Association conference in April 2008, I became greatly interested in some research possibilities. It sounded fun at the time, but after many hours spent in the basement of University Hospital going through medical records, I realized research isn't for sissys.

In conjunction with 2 other nurses, a research nurse, and our supportive physicians, we finished our paper. Not only did we finish, but it was presented at the 2009 ABA conference, and now it is published!

You can check it out here-- it may not be the cause of riveting discussion at your next book club, but I'm excited about it. And you thought I was just a nurse...

our winter stay-cation

We need not travel far to have a good time! We spent a day at the Homestead in Midway and had a blast. We started off with some tubing, lazy style- where the rope tow drags you up the hill. But the rides up were half the fun~

The mineral water natural crater served as our warm water destination. Oh how I love swimming when the water is warm!
These ice sculptures were quite the sight- the pictures don't do them justice. It made me want to be an ice princess and live in a castle like that.
I wish we could make a tradition of this and do it every year! I wanted to stay longer and go snowshoeing, x-country skiing, relax with a good book, and sleep in for a few more days. What a great way to start Dave's birthday celebrations.

blue christmas

Another pregnancy come and gone, and still no desired result. The news Dave and I received on Christmas Eve: "You're not pregnant after all. But you may have an ectopic pregnancy. We don't know. You can't go on your cruise. You need to take a chemo drug to kill all the cells. You can't try to get pregnant again for several months. Merry Christmas."

I feel like I'm in a bad dream. Not only are our hopes of this next pregnancy crushed, but now we have to stay home and have salt poured in our wounds every day. Our Christmas was spent in tears. And now Dave's birthday will not be spent slow dancing on top of a cruise ship in 80 degree weather like we had planned- instead we will be home in the cold.

Winter is my least favorite of the seasons; the cold and the dark take a toll on my mood and emotions. But usually Christmas is the warm highlight of the winter. Not this year. Christmas is supposed to be a time when your heart feels full, with so much joy and love. Yet mine feels shattered and broken. How can others have a "Merry Christmas" when I feel so miserable? How can the rest of the world open gifts with smiles and cheer when I can barely pull myself together? Why are Dave and I the "downers" of our friends and families, with people feeling awkward and uneasy around us? What has happened to the Holly I used to know?

My list of unanswered questions goes on and on. What am I to do in the coming year to change the current course my life is taking? 2009 has felt like the evil step-sister of the previous years of my life. I can only hope and pray that 2010 is more graceful, kind, sweet, and gentle.

cookie jar

The woman who started it all and has shared her skills with the rest of us. As this year's official "cookie counter," Mom was in charge of making sure each of us got our equal share (which ended up around 12 dozen per person!)

Dress code for the day: aprons

My two personal favorites: chocolate parfait (above) and orange carrot (below). They're melting in my mouth already.

COOKIE BAKE 2009

1 of my 15 minutes of fame...

Check this out!

food for all

I watched this movie with some friends last week, and after being thoroughly engrossed for 90 minutes, decided this is a must-see not just for me but for every American. Typically, I've been pretty skeptical of "organic", "all-natural" etc labels on food- what's the real difference besides a marketing ploy? But this film really opened my eyes to see some of what goes on behind closed doors of the food industry. Maybe organic isn't just for hippies and elitist snobs. Maybe chemically altering food isn't such a good idea after all. Maybe we don't need 4,000 calories worth of corn for every American, every day.

I want to be an informed consumer and want to actually know a bit about the stuff I'm putting in my body besides the fat and calorie content. I also want to leave the next generation with a sustainable planet. This movie has really got me thinking.... As Americans, we (generally speaking) don't like to buy the cheapest cars, the cheapest clothes, the cheapest make-up, or cheapest entertainment options. We'll shell out top dollar for these disposable items. Yet when it comes to food, feeding the bodies that we want to last for 80 years, we want the absolute lowest dollar amount. Why??? It also seems ironic to me that farmers, farm land, and farming itself is a dying art even though the world's population continues to grow, increasing the amount of food needed worldwide.

I'm of the belief that one person can make a difference. So I recycle. I plant a garden. I try not to waste food. And last week I bought my first half-gallon of organic milk.

And now I'll get off my soapbox for the day.

happy thanksgiving

I've been thinking about all the many things I am grateful for this year, and my thoughts continually turn to you, my best family and friends. This past year has been a tough one for me and Dave, and I don't know what I would have done without you. Some days it was hard to find hope and I'm not sure I would have ever found it without the love you've shown to me. I've been amazed at how small and simple things can make such a difference in my day, my attitude, my life. From a kind hand written note, a big hug, or a simple blog comment to a night spent talking, forgiveness on my bad days, or a night at the temple, I have been touched by the thoughtfulness of my family and friends. And although Dave and I have traveled down rocky roads together, he has been the strong one, giving me encouragement, laughter, hope, and true understanding. Each of you has been an instrument in the Lord's hands, for He has answered my prayers through the love of others. The Plan of Salvation and the knowledge of Eternal Families has never meant more to me than it does now. So I'd like to thank each of you (you know who you are) for being there for me and letting me know you love me. I feel so grateful to Heavenly Father for surrounding me with such amazing people. So at this time of Thanksgiving, although I feel so blessed in many areas of my life, I'd like to give a shout out to the people who make me feel life is good, joyful, and worth living.

making the bed

Can you see why it takes me twenty minutes to make the bed? This cat thinks everything is a game between him and I, and he doesn't like to lose. I often just make the bed right over him and wait for him to come out when he deems "safe." Funny how the same blankets he sleeps on all night can pose such a threat the next morning. At least he makes mundane chores fun, right? I sure love everything about this curious little guy.